Ladybugs are his favorite.

my childhood = ruins

• Sarah: besides the lamp totally bottoms anyway
• Alexa: WHAT THE FUCK
• Alexa: SARAH
• Alexa: SHUT UP FOREVER
• Sarah: rofl
• Alexa: the okay reaction would be to claw your eyes out NOT DEBATE WHETHER AN ANTHROMORPHIZED GODDAMN DESK LAMP FROM MY CHILDHOOD WOULD PITCH OR CATCH
• Sarah: why are u even surprised i mean youve been around the internet a few times
• Sarah: this should come naturally
• Sarah: surely you watched this movie and shipped something
• Alexa: ...
• Alexa: i hate you so much right now
• Sarah: HAHA SEE
• Sarah: i know u!
• Sarah: out with it
• Sarah: cmon
• Alexa: retreats into a little hole and dies
• Sarah: dare u to rule 34 it
• Alexa: there's already way too much of that
• Alexa: in fact more then 0 is way too much
• Alexa: i'm not at that level of self-degredation yet
• Alexa: i'm still at the 'watches naruto unironically' level of self-degredation
• Alexa: still a ways to go before i do disney appliance porn
• Sarah: cmon cant u just picture it
• Sarah: a forbidden love between a desk lamp and a washing machine
• Sarah: impaling his hot, wet socket on that throbbing gyrating column of soap dispensing lust
• Alexa: okay first off
• Alexa: you are done. for ever. never speak again.
• Alexa: second off
• Alexa: there is no washing machine
• Alexa: third off
• Alexa: you have reached a level beyond done
• Alexa: jesus christ
• Alexa: jesus christ sarah
• Sarah: what about the radio then would fingering a lamps asshole with his antenna hurt his reception ythink?
• Alexa: ..............................
• Alexa: i can't even fucking read and allow that whole sentence to process in my head
• Alexa: why do you push this envelope sarah
• Alexa: why
• Sarah: is there an anthro envelope to?
• Alexa: LAMPS DONT EVEN HAVE ASSHOLES
• Alexa: world crumbles around her
• Sarah: could there be like a radio on envelope on lamp 3some?
• Alexa: we are no longer friends btw

• Alexa: i have yet to see a good looking penis
• Alexa: but i am convinced that somewhere out there
• Alexa: one exists
• Alexa: and when i find it
• Alexa: im going to tie baby blue ribbons around it
• Alexa: and put a hat on top
• Alexa: a beret

• LordWarr: Dude i have nightmares one of these days a chick is going to fuck me
• hackhydro: nightmare?
• LordWarr: with a strapom
• hackhydro: dream?
• LordWarr: yes
• hackhydro: oooh Id love that
• hackhydro: a hot chick with a fake vibrating thing
• hackhydro: Best thing ever
• LordWarr: Sticking it in your ass
• hackhydro: probably
• LordWarr: All the way in till you bleed
• LordWarr: and shit comes out

• Alexa: take notes for me okay anna
• Anna: okay
• Anna: eats subway
• Alexa: i was going to tell you something but FUCK
• Alexa: I WANT SUBWAY
• Anna: tell me
• Anna: rn
• Alexa: why don't you share with me
• Anna: no its mine
• Alexa: I USED TO BE YOURS TOO
• Alexa: UNTIL YOU CAST ME AWAY
• Alexa: LIKE YESTERDAY'S SUBWAY
• Anna: thank god those days are over
• Alexa: oh you can just go right to hell
• Anna: i have a new hotter fiance now
• Alexa: i was the best you everisehjgsgdfgs
• Alexa: not as hot as MY NEW BOYFRIEND
• Anna: who is gay
• Alexa: there's no rule that says i can't date a gay guy
• Anna: yeah okay right sure
• Alexa: punches forever
• Anna: eats subway

• Anna: remember that one time
• Anna: when i had subway
• Anna: and you didnt
• Alexa: remember that time i took the blanks out of my tumblr quote of you
• Anna: stares at floor

• Anna: hey wanna earn a quick $20
• Alexa: im not going to suck your dick if thats what you're asking
• Anna: no thats not quick
• Anna: theres someone i want you to push into a lake
• Alexa: is it aaron hale because i would do that for free